3 Reasons Why Facial Hair Improves Productivity

Happy Movember, everyone! It has been 8 full days, and I am proud to say that I am sporting some quality grizzle on a good portion of my face. I can safely say that I've passed the stage where it is uncomfortable and itchy and moved into the stage where it pleases me...and is itchy. The fact that this is for charity makes it all the more worthwhile.

Believe it or not, having said facial hair has somehow made me feel more productive. How, you ask? Oh...you didn't. Well, I'll tell you anyway. Here is a short list detailing how facial hair can improve productivity:

(1) Working Overtime


Whether you are working overtime or not, having unkempt facial hair can give you the appearance that you are working hard, and will make others convey this to you. The more frazzled you look, the better. During the first week of Movember, I was able to completely ignore my regular shaving regiment as my beard grew, in preparation for an inevitable sculpting session that lead to a goatee. Be prepared to watch your social skills take a considerable dip, however. Although this may not be a desirable attribute, it only strengthens the formula. The less sociable you are, the more time you have to devote to work. Eureka!

Disclaimer: This does not apply to well kept and sculpted facial hair, which can in fact improve your social skills and make you less productive. Luckily, point number 2 remedies this situation.

Wilfred Brimley (as Postmaster General Henry Atkins, on "Seinfeld") says, "...it's the job of a general to by God get things done." Good advice from a man who knows facial hair.

(2) Improved Problem Solving Skills


Ever come across a problem that leaves you hopelessly searching for answers? As a game developer, this is very familiar territory for me. Staring at the screen blankly does nothing to help the situation. With my newly acquired facial hair, I find myself somehow able to solve problems at a quickened pace, leaving me to ponder exactly why this was the case.

Then, it hit me. Rather than staring blankly at the screen, I found myself stroking the manly brush emanating from my chin and around my mouth while I searched my brain for a solution. I can't explain it, but this repetitive action allowed me to reach an answer much quicker than usual, improving my productivity by at least 23%. I can't verify that last statistic, but it just sounds right.

Just make sure you don't go overboard, otherwise it may make you a bit...crazy. Right Mel?

(3) Less Time Shaving Means More Time Not Shaving...


...which leads to more time available to work! This ties directly to the first point. Not shaving for an entire week gave me valuable time to devote to work, and after the beard had grown in, removing the unwanted portions still left me with a good amount of surface area that I could ignore while shaving, which cut my shaving time in half.

And there you have it, friends. Facial hair and productivity go hand in hand. Remember, your face is the canvas to your success. Use it wisely, and only use it for evil as a last resort.

...unless you're dealing with a "dog-blasted, ornery, no-account, long-eared varmint."

On a more serious note, please help support men`s heath and prostate cancer research by donating to my Movember fundraising campaign. You can see pictures of my month long facial hair progress and donate to this great cause here:

Thanks for your support, and special thanks to those who have already donated! My face thanks you.

Here's that link again, in case you forgot to click it the first time: http://ca.movember.com/mospace/1072806/